Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
