Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
