there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
