i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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