I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize