if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
