Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
