Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
