My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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