Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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