i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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