I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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