For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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