where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
