I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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