Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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