found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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