Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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