She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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