I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
