I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
