Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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