we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
