your room smells of hookers.
And success
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
