I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
cat food counts as protein by the way
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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