Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
