I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
