The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
