kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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