Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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