There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
