what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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