1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize