He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
