Swine flu. Run for my life!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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