Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
tell me about the fingering
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