I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
