um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
