when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
