:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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