I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
