It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
