Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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