They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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