I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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