I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
