I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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