I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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