i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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