I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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