I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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