It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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