Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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