but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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