i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
