the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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