We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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